Thursday, June 30, 2005

although this world is a crazy ride,
you just take your seat and hold on tight.

i am freaking out. phaeochromocytonoma. .8 out of 100,000 pple are affected. then the 10% percent rule follows. cant decide if this is more terrifying than just bloody chemicals as the body betrays u as u grow old. erm in retrospect, the latter is scarier/more hateful.

dad told me to slow down the pace of my life (he justifies his firm No to the many things i ask to do just like this) because it's in my bloody genes to get so caught up with activities i eventually break. ahh. i want to hide in my hole in pgp now. ahh. stop scaring me. i can feel the fingers of dread closing in on me. shit. (not-) funniest wld be if i break now.

tried telling dad tt i chill in different ways fm him. he lazes ard at home and has quiet time. swimming/tennis/running/biking/even wb-ing is most times as therapeutic as (if not more) reading a book in borders/blasting quiet (oxymoron!) music at home and simply dozing. i need to run, run, run now. but i am strapped onto my seat.

eff this and ess that. thank god for make-believe. and good authors who lose u in their books. and thank god for a keyboard. i think i will really go crazy otherwise.


went on a hike ard nus. and aft failure to bash thru the concrete jungle forced us to walk a lot a lot, we finally discovered king edward hall and pgp hidden on/behind a Mountain. despite the effort needed to climb to the residences, i think tt both of them are pretty, and the serenity is the prize u get for all the sweat u work urself into getting there. ok, maybe it is a little disconcertingly quiet; imagine walking along the lonely, badly- lit path late at nigh aah! but. it's peaceful. think tt's just what i'm looking for right now. wow. i really5 hope i get to stay there. am 85% sure i wont eventually:'(, but still, i Hope.

had fun today. it's ok to burst out laughing when nothing funny was said, (or nothing was said at all) to talk Loudly abt inane things, argue for the sake of talking Loudly, or just keep quiet. no questions asked.

well guess today marks The End of waitressing. harbour grill is heaven:) the work pace is slower, though today was the Busiest Day in 6 Months, and yesterday was the 2nd busiest (why on the only two days i work!) and more imptly, the pple are Nice and help a lot. well, with just 3 pple running the whole place, we've gotta work together man. it mwas my turn to work in the kitchen today, spent q a large portion of my time soaping mugs/glasses and cutlery and then steaming them. -i will have a dishwasher in my future home, just so i can wipe hot glasses. i love the feel of hot glasses, the fat kind:) broke my first glass ever yesterday, and my second today. the thin necks of wine glasses break with a very satisfying snap. but the first time i dropped a glass with such a resounding crash, my hands trembled uncontrollably for a gd 15?min before my nerves settled.

am looking forward to tmr, am itching to flrball! it's been So long. likely tt i wont get to play, but the idea of a game will sustain me till tmr. yikes. still no flrball stick. will prolly hafta wait till hyan comes back in dec. i will miss her dearly when she's gone:'(

now, Junkfood is more than sustaining me:D redrock! reeses! hershey'sgoodman! picnic! and more! uma's just back fm us with a truckload of badies. manymany things u dun see in spore, so of course i am making it a point to try everyth tonight. hoho. twiglets they sound so cute and yummy. i want! had a great chat with Ugly last night, :)!

electrico is playing on sat night! hmm. lotsa things sound promising for a lovely weekend. perhapsperhaps things will fall back into place soon.

happy bday, fau-ziah DOD:)

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

an overkill of posts, i know. home(ward) bound, i am.

it's a re-run of the drama all over again. eff it. i am getting sucked into the darkness. it's time to be a true blue antisocialite.

i see how i will be in 30+ years time, and i worry. panic strikes: i dun wanna grow old. not even with smone who will sing adam sandler's song to me. correction: especially not with tt smone.

i am very troubled by smth i witnessed two days ago. still havent told ge abt it. by not talking abt it, i can pretend it never happened.

funny how the cold war still goes on. but i want eat pineapple. for food, i will be thick-skinned.

at the same time, life outside home goes on. cheers, i will be waiting, perhaps for the last time, tmr, aft a break of 1 week. this time at harbour grill though. woo, less work, i hope i hope:D also, hope tt i dun meet particularly chatty pple. what an antisocialite.

my driving instructor said i wld fail. again. not one time has he seen any Hope in this student who tries so hard not to be a psychomotormoron. sad, i thought i did pretty okay today.. i just stalled once. ok, twice. or maybe thrice;) so much for not stalling a single time during my first lesson. but hey, i parked perfectly each time. and he didnt jam brake for me. and he only touched the steering wheel once. and this is my.. 14th lesson;p

dabao-ing msg-laden food fm the coffeeshop downstairs can be uplifting. the stallholder is such a joke. maybe he gets high on msg.

a couple of girlfriends' bdays coming up. i will psyche up:) oh. and it's buddy's bday soon too:)
oh, was a bitch to haz 2 days ago. may she forgive me soon:'( pastry salesgirl sounds like great job though (yumyum, more than anyth else;) a pity tt the timings of gd jobs all clash.

poof. may tmr (and ever after) be beautiful.

obladi oblada!!:) wonders of Happy Songs.

Monday, June 27, 2005

i am a rafflesian nut, and tt's gonna get me more snide comments in the future i bet. i've had enough, but heck it, i am Proud of my label. perhaps 10% of rafflesians are as crazy abt sch as i am; it's wonderful to sit back and let waves of nostalgia hit us time to time. sunny, hyan, kailun?, lu, ivan m, renji, azi, etc, hello!:)

just visited the seemingly defunct rafflesian alumni page, and discovered tt there was a lot more activity 2 years back. religiously pored thru 18 pages of this poem composed by a bunch of funny pple; it's the kind of thing tt just makes u laugh, and want to knock sm pple on the head for the totally unrelated idea they pop in, but u love them for doing so anw. hopefully my batchmates (+1 and -1 batches too) will make contact as the years go by.

yes, mooning ard at home, after books have been exhausted and the weather too blistering hot for a wuss to pop down to the library/bookstore, forces that one wuss to explore hoho.

dinner beckons. food helps pass a lot of time, albeit languidly sometimes.

after dinner:

it's all abt timing. i suddenly look needed at home, even if it's merely my presence tt counts for anyth at all. there's only one thing i want to say: piss off! am damn frust. it's wrong of me to gripe. i am a lousy daughter, i think of myself too much. but i'm not lousy enough to tell them what i really want, and risk high blood pressure and headaches. if they wld listen before condemning me, tt is. :'( i cant bring myself to just up and leave; i wish i cld. i am only nineteen! fresh out of high school, yearning to live away fm stones tt arent teaching me to fly. so much for advocating the confucian school of thought. perhaps i read too many books tt arent set in the asian context. tt's a stupid link. adjectival hiatus. ..i dun like myself smtimes. oh boy, who is left to like me then?

hiatuses of thought.

not too sure what to do with the letter i composed to the kids. worrying tt if i send it one of them to disseminate to the rest of the class, all hell will break loose during another teacher's lesson. (what if it's hers!?) i always worry too much abt little things like this eh.

..wb was fun today. didnt start jumping though; mahmut was still correcting my posture. but it was satisfying to feel myself get more stable, and skip a little on the wake. imagine the adrenaline when i actually Hop out of the water! hung and weili were fantastic, getting up really quickly. everyone's arms are aching now though;) well, a reminder of the fun today lar.

i love the wide open Space once we manouvre out of the boat-holding area, and all tt is ard is a vast expanse of Water.
the fuzzy outlines of malaysia makes me feel so.. small and insignificant.
the skies are almost always pretty. at least, view of the skies isnt obscured by hard ugly buildings-saw pple parachuting the last time i was out!
i feel like jumping out of the speeding boat into the water. (then again, who knoweth what lurks, wuss.)
but wow! it feels like the world will be my oyster once i head back to mainland.

however, i feel more secure in the little channel between two land bodies. there is sufficient space to feel liberated, yet there is the comfort in knowing that even dogs can swim between the two banks, so no worries if the boat suddenly zooms off, leaving you behind. (hmm. why wld tt happen?)
at the same time, i am still in full view of the Open Sea at the mouth of the channel. (a kelong sits serenely on one side of the opening.)

wld u choose the Open sea or the sheltered channel?

really glad to hear fm saus time to time. am so happy tt she is having a whale of a time, and opening her eyes and heart to the world that the rest of us neglects when we are caught up in the fast pace back home. the world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. i sometimes feel blinded.

Hey guys,

A new term starts tomorrow, and I hope that all of you have used the June holidays well to rest, catch up on your homework, and get psyched up for the challenges ahead. A pity that a number of you weren't around on the last few days of Term 2; I did not have a chance to bid you a proper farewell. No matter, for here I am with some more "last words" that I hope will hold some meaning for the majority of you.

Here is one quote that an OBS (Outward Bound School -if given the opportunity in future, you Must go for the courses they offer!) instructor once shared with me, and which I found immensely stirring:

"I suppose I should wish you success, but that is too easy. I would like to wish you something that is harder to come by. So I am going to wish you meaning in life. And meaning is not something you stumble across like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of human kind as it is passed on to you; out of your own talent and understanding, out of things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account." --Robert Gardner

Perhaps asking you to find Meaning in life now sounds like a tall order, like something you should be doing only when you are 'older' and have had more of life's experiences. Well, you may be deemed young by some around you (or you yourself might think so) but I think that 11 is a big enough number of years for all of you to begin Live consciously, and not take for granted some of the things that have found their way into your life thus far. I know I must sound quite vague now, but chew on it, I hope you get what I am driving at. :).

One more thing I want to highlight is the last line in the above quote. "...the particular balance of success or failure is of less account." Do keep in mind that failures are but part and parcel of life; do not dread them, nor lie low after you have been beaten once. Be it bad grades for a test/examination, a lousy game on the basketball courts, or a discouraging performance in your CCAs, or other (Bigger) problems you face outside school, bounce back each time with a stronger spirit! Have faith, all of you have it in you to be a glowing Success. To be honest, I dreaded each time I returned (important) assignments, for the crestfallen looks on some of your faces was painful.. But I am sure those of you have bounced back with more determination to do better next time!:)

Then again, I wish to remind you that 'pride comes before a fall'. Revel in the moment of glory, but don't let complacency get to you, alright? There is always room for improvement! Anyway, overly-prideful people can be such a pain, don't be like that ok?:)

Well, I realise that I am terribly naggy. Pardon me, these are but some of the things I was thinking about today when I thought about you guys. I have lots more to say, (I always do, don't I?) but I will save that for another day, perhaps? Meantime, I ask you all to take care, and drop me a line sometime, keep me posted about Life! Good luck and have fun with the skits this week; I wish I could watch you guys at work.


P.S.: I have been well these holidays, no worries about me! My school term only starts on 1 August, so that leaves me a little more time to relax before I resume a role of a student again:)
P.P.S.: Of course I miss you all, and I thank you for the wonderful 2 months you shared with me. :).


Sunday, June 26, 2005

cycling is not a spectator sport.

moped ard at this junction in ntu today, counting down to the next time the pack of bikers would zoom past us. me, hung, and mjing. so, each of abt 5km ard ntu takes 8-11minutes on average. and tt's the frequency at which we had the motorcycle 'chick' and uncles, and the bikers coming by to add colour to our srdings.

quote of the day:
"5 km per lap, 20 laps = 100km. wah, even a car travelling at 100km/h will take one hour to complete the race." -hyan

after standing q at attn initially and taking a couple of photos, our cool stance gradually fell apart as the sun rose but the weather got gloomier. we started to sit, (and lie) down, willing lunch to be delivered soon, and for the bikers to speed up:D had lengthy discussions with mjing and hyan abt certain issues tt were/are? troubling me. no conclusions drawn, but tt let us pass sm time:)

hyan's theory abt how Amazing it was tt the three of us were sitting ard together on 26th july 2005 was kinda ... but yes, Fate is such an incredible thing. it's scarily powerful. ("with great power comes responsibility";)

oh! called mo and had a very alive! conversation with him:) he sounded happy (and healthy) and i am happy too. happier still tt he's coming back! in december!-just half a year to go. woosh. miss ya Tons. one more thing to look forward to besides xmas!:)

anw, i am not aching fm climbing, hoho. hung and i cant decide if we like climbing though.. there isnt an adrenaline rush, but there sure is satisfaction on tapping the final tile, of the top of the wall. guess we are still too weak in out arms, and too Inflexible to enjoy the sport. but i've discovered more climbing kakis shld i decide to practice- mr soh! what a funky teacher. kind of him to have offered bike for osim/ port dickson tri! i am enthusiastic, but the flesh is weak:D

talking abt bike offers: hiap lup! was sunny's instructor! i wish i was at obs too.. it was Wonderful listening to sunny recount her intriging (and hilarious) experience these past 5 days:) i hope yun enjoyed it as much haha. now, restless, i think i might Kill to go for an obs course. imagine 21 days! ($3,500) woosh.

psyche up, one whole month of june hols has zoomed by and Term 3 Day 1 beckons. i wonder how prepared the kids are for the new term, and if they are excited. (i always looked forward to sch reopening. i missed my friends a lot:) i kinda wish i had school to return to, if not rj-which would be simply Heavenly!-, returning to nyps -as teacher la- wld be good too;)

cold war drags on at home. 30th june is dragging near!:s

Friday, June 24, 2005

the wonders of technology. :).

i wonder if being a terrible phone conversationalist makes me an even more tech-unsavvy person. i know being a poor msn conversationalist says tons abt my ability to juggle more than 2 applications on the computer. rraa. i am primitive. it was lovely of lulu to say tt i am nice(r) to talk to in person tho:) hmm. hopefully i dun kill relationships with the many pple going overseas soon; i know i have already killed some, and i am sorry:( but if given the chance to Meet up, i am sure we will still click! (or is it clique?)

i died one more time. which was q a nice feeling actually.
..jen thinks she can see into the future. hmm. meantime, ge is just a Lousy counsellor. he better stop pinching my chocolates. :). perhaps perhaps perhaps is bad!

the mango sale is Pesky. i finally own smth fm mango. (who says Every girl has to have smth fm there. -ok, wait, maybe the stress shld be on the word Girl;) then there is no puzzlement over Why i dun buy stuff fm there.) but what i've got is just a lousy tshirt i Had to get, as testament to having been squashed in a tiny mango outlet. i prefer getting lost in an orchard, thank you. and i prefer giordano haha. oh. i also have a lousy pair of jeans tt looks so much better on yunlei:D but i have only worn it Once. to wait. the first, and last, time in crustacean. i adjectival (i suspect this word is meant for more serious situations) cant wear jeans.

yes, shopping with mom is tiring. i felt a little like how ugly must have felt when we girls went crazy window-also-good-shopping in oz (esp in harbourtown. poor thing!) but i ended up buying more things than mom. whoops.

glad tt ge came down to lunch with us:) though the food wasnt yummy at all. lalala(!)mianxiaolongbao has lost its authenicity. and the wait to get seated was adjectival long. really must go out with mom more often. ge and i almost had heart attacks when we cldnt get hold of her after she left town though.

tennis today was.. odd. a few possible reasons why it felt Wrong:
1) no big lefthanded guy who gets worked up in the next court. and the guffaws fm the other big guys when this happens.
2) no toy plane zooming ard next to the courts, 6 storeys fm the ground!!:):) i Will fly one of these in the future! where can i buy model planes btw!? besides the shop in wheelock..
3) no sun! rushing past the gloomier-than-ever pool after the lesson was.. disturbing. i am a wuss! -i Hate swimming in dark water. who knoweth what lurks.

having to rush onto a train full of tired-out pple is spozed to be a pain. but i was smhow very cheerful:) made a nice lady smile and indulge in divulging (this phrase sounds nice!) where she stays by insisting tt she sits instead of me, despite all my barang taking up a lof of space in the middle of the carriage. must have scared the malay kiddos by grinning at them, but hello i understand a smattering of melayu ok, and tt's why i all but laughed out loud when the youngest kiddo needed badly to kenching. (howeveruspellit)

onto rock climbing tmr with hockers, woosh. the novelty of climbing better not wear off quickly; this course must Not be like tt kayak one i did with hazwani!:D (-in retrospect, running aft the shuttle buses were most exciting. *flailing arms and legs.)


the love i'm searching for - weezer

I don't think, I'll find the love I want
The love I'm searching for in this machine, oh

The System's Failed, all the circuits blown
And the message lost, in this machine oh
Tried all the codes, all possibilities
All combinations but still nothing, oh

Call for backup from my assistants but
No one seems to know anything, oh
Disconnect, shut the main reactor down
And separate from this technology, oh

I try, you know I try. I try e i y
Hard as it may be, I know you should be with me
Even thought it seems it's all lie e i ies
I still believe you should be with me

I don't think, I'll find the love I want
The love I'm searching for in this machine, oh

I try, you know I try. I try e i y
Hard as it may be, I know you should be with me
Even thought it seems it's all lie e i ies
I still believe you should be with me

Monday, June 20, 2005

heehee first pic in jen's new cam
Originally uploaded by honlyn.
heehee. first pic in jen's new cam. cheap thrill. anw jen's friend, lucas or smth, says i look 'army material' or smth. haha. sisters lar.

boohoo. jen and lulu are both going away for q long periods of time. the saf/navy really sucks pple away fm u! then again, i believe tt they emerge stronger and all the more worldly-wise. look at me, stuck here! -i must slap myself out of self-pity/gripes- haha trying to land myself a cozy hole of a hostel room on campus, but the system is playing games with me, the guys on the service lines all cant help me:( it better work out soon! then i will have a whale of a time telling dad abt my decision to move out.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

skydive sunset
itching itching to holiday. to Fly.

icecream (gelato more than anyth else) and xiaolongbao-s are meant to be shared. but chocolate is eaten when alone. in my case, at least.

so yes, i am eating chocolate now. but decided to feel less lonesome by attacking b&js too. ..allow me to confirm tt icecream is yummier when shared.

i'm home on a saturday night. when electrico is playing at this very moment. ahh! feeling a bit cheated; came home just before electrico played cos i thot mom and dad wld be home already, and i wanted to bring them out to mr teh tarik:) it's dads' day tmr aft all. and. buddy isnt free-i always think of bud when i catch these rock acts.. and. i forgot all abt maulanar-how cld i have!?

woah. i am suddenly feeling alive all over again. smhow accidentally d/led the damn upbeat Barbershop Quartet version of unchained melody. hahaha. woosh! haha.

anw, i have been very Happy the past two days:)

delta social night was amazingly brilliant, contrary to what i expected. (i am ashamed of all the griping before tt;p) the performances were highly captivating (swoons over the guy who played canon in d on his violin. but even more so, over the 'sirs' who sang Wonderful Tonight and Hero and tt ah-neh. and, i finally heard shengrong sing!) the fact tt half the hockey team-the girls'- was there made it more comfy too, tho i must agree with hung tt we were a tad zi4 lian4, taking all those pics as if it was Our night, instead of the boys'.

but anw. u know what, i was Most touched (and of course, impressed:) by weili's gallantry/chivalry/thoughtfulness. he was ultra gentlemanly! i thank him for making it Such a pleasant night. i could almost have fallen in like with him, i swear;) feeling v bad tt i didnt supp with him, even more so aft he gave me the Last piece of the yummiest dish of the night (the food sucked badly otherwise): the chinese pancake. haha. and he paid attn to the frivilous comments i made! but nvm, we will not lose contact for too long this time:D

oh and i was also most impressed with the closing video of the army boys and their antics/suffering.. SAF ppgd works on me each time. our boys are so.. noble:)

lulu sent me home; haha, he did pass his test yesterday! i havent yet seen anyone else as psyched up abt driving:D thank u, thank u. so much:)

finally fell asleep in the wee hours (to me;) of the morn, and woke up the the most Glorious weather in a long time. just too bad i stayed indoors pretty much today. lunch with jieming, the goat, was short, but Fun! he wasnt Grouchy:) haha.

ran up and down escalators in cine again, as is always the case, it seems, when i catch a movie with jennie. we missed the front bit of mr and mrs smith, so it was great tt hazwani told me abt tt question:) "x'mas morning"! ..jennieqmf has a flrball stick! since when!? haha. (anw, i am v happy tt my photo is the First to be taken with her new camera:) and she bought a pair of Chakos!-and they are Not pink!-)

woosh! mom and dad are back. (with food. thank gdness. i am Hungry.)

time is running out! suddenly june is almost Gone. and i havent done (much less Achieve) much. boo.

these days - rascal flatts

Hey baby, is that you
Wow, your hair got so long
Yeah, yeah I love it, I really do
“Norma Jean,” ain’t that the song we’d sing
In the car driving downtown
Top down, making the rounds
Checking out the bands on Doheny Avenue

Yeah, life throws you curves
But you learned to swerve
Me, I swung and I missed
And the next thing you know, I’m reminiscing
Dreaming old dreams
Wishing old wishes
Like you would be back again

I wake up in teardrops that fall down like rain
I put on that old song we danced to and then
I head off to my job, guess not much has changed
Punch the clock, head for home, check the phone just in case
Go to bed, dream of you
That’s what I’m doing these days
Yeah, that’s what I’m doing

Someone told me after college
You ran off to Vegas
You married a rodeo cowboy
Wow, that ain’t the girl I knew
Me, I’ve been a few places
Mostly here and there once or twice
Still sorting out life but I’m doing alright
Yeah, it’s good to see you too

Well hey girl you’re late
And those planes, they don’t wait
But if you ever come back around
This sleepy old town
Promise me you’ll stop in
To see an old friend
And until then

I wake up in teardrops that fall down like rain
I put on that old song we danced to and then
I head off to my job, guess not much has changed
Punch the clock, head for home, check the phone just in case
Go to bed, dream of you
That’s what I’m doing these days
Yeah, that’s what I’m doing


Monday, June 13, 2005

finally got a new phone. was thrilled when i saw the guy insert a brand new battery. but BooHoo! all the messages accumulated from 2003 are G-O-N-E as are the messages i painstakingly saved fm sec 3 and 4!! sudden sense of loss. perhaps i am exaggerating a tad. but it feels like i have thrown away the more tangible parts of sm relationships (friendships lar) and i worry tt i may forget smths.. so superficial, i know. but it's smtimes hard to keep stock of things tt happened, and just a little msg/note/letter/gift just triggers the Recall function. i really think memories, and feelings are what Make a person. ok, bad expression. will try harder to explain when i am not so sleepy. anw, it's just Such lovely feeling to read thru all the msges in the phone esp when u are not feeling particularly high. well, i re-lived sm parts of jc in 2 minutes just now, as i crammed all the msges into my head before reluctantly trading it in.

..really kid tng na, mo. raihan and his youth flying club exp/promises to get me on board. rosalyn-bao-bao and her waffle demands. xhui and Our little open secret;) ivan, my fellow ze-dunno what. ivan m and siva and canal runs! nikhil and breakfasts! weili and backaches (and the cold war:(.) pearl and her desperate msg hahaha. lulu and his soldier boy bye-byes each time he left, so long ago! kailun and Inspiring msges, and tt one time he asked if i had lunch. mr ho and the times he scared me by asking me to go see him. alfie with his encouraging msges! luyi and her capt-msges. joyce and our x exploits. more adventures with saus dear. blunt but sweet jennie:) fauziahwithhersquashedupmsgescoswealwayshavesomuchtosaytoeachotherbutwearecheapoanddunwannausetoomanymsges. sunny and my luck/her lack of luck with regards to bumping into pple at most inappropriate times at the most inappropriate places. emily and 412 babes msges. msges fm ge. dad's bday wish: "come home, bought roti prata and dahl for u happy birthday." sir: "take care of yr legs". buddy: 'wassup bud..' the oddest msges fm pple i hear only fm time to time. the replies i get from doing 'honlyn's. the most mundane msges as well tt still make me smile smhow, cos i love my friends. memories of events/gatherings, etc.. i re-lived bits of orientation, hockey seasons x2, obs'04, prelims, A's, post A's.. many many things in btwn, and of course, a bit of sec 3 obs:)

yeah. enough rambling. these are but tangibles. all set, i am looking forward to using the new phone now:)

short work day ahead! woosh. not enough time to sleep ahh! but heck. looking forward to swim with haz, and possibly tennis with fat ge!

He sings the songs that
Remind him
Of the good times
He sings the songs that
Remind him
Of the better times.

chocolates. coffee. men. they all are better rich.

ge found this damn funny. oh well.

had dinner at ikukan last night, a surprise gathering to celebrate oli's bday (ge is damn sweet lar. haha.) met their Very interesting friends with Interesting occupation.. at the national archives? camp organiser? uniform supplier? counsellor for those who are screwed up, and those who get screwed? yeah. tt's them. sam left me highly tickled; he's So funny. incidentally, he's denise's cousin.. anw, there was much talk abt savannah cove, and safari themed weddings. let the groom marry in berms! marry in the zoo! -post madagascar trauma.

the food was pretty, looking smwhat like those things u see on japan hour, and most of it was q q yummy. but i wasnt v impressed:( but! i wld love to go back again. haha. even if it's just to eat what okaasan (the hammamatsu one) used to make me for breakfast.

..surgeons are addressed as Mr. and not Dr. because in Old England, surgeons were butchers! not medically trained! so as is with many weird med traditions, surgeons retain tt title.

walked past the shop/ stretch of road where there was filming going on two nights again. i think it's a movie in the making.. lotsa effort sure goes into making One scene! saw how fake rain is made! and saw how the leads are pampered: support crew Ran up immediately aft the cameras stopped rolling to towel them off.

totally zonked today. lack of slp i guess. felt extremely at home when i dropped by nyps to clear up sm shit. realise how much i miss tt place. haha. left post-its on thomas', llama's and cheemin's table (what a Mess!!) i wish they had been there though. then again, shuffling across the dim, silent staffroom was therapeutic.

waiting today was kinda crazy initially. we are understaffed lar! finally had a breather as breakfast drew to an end, and was highly amused by this guy who told me how pleased he was with his weight loss, having switched to a heavy breakfast fm heavy dinners.. my musical knee has resurfaced. (rmb how rosh and i once had a duet!)

met claudia, the swiss girl who's attached to hilton as a trainee as part of her course in a swiss hotel sch. talked smmore to jesslyn (who knows me fm psl carn!) who's done one year of hospitality in vancouver, and who's off to university of hawaii to study more of tt.. found out tt greg did hotel m in boston u.. woosh. feeling just slightly deflated and wistful. but! thought tt i prolly wldnt fit in well. well move on! aside: i think i will kill myself if i were stuck waiting for more than 2 mths. the monotony just gets to me: clear table, set table, clear table, turn over, clear table, set table.. eeks, perhaps. then again, every job will grow on u, and things will definitely become very familiar, of not routine, aft a while right? work sucks. i know. (where're my roses?)

i have very random thoughts. it makes me sound flippant, no? and highly air-headed of course.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

not going anywhere - keren ann

This is why I always wonder
I'm a pond full of regrets
I always try to not remember rather than forget

This is why I always whisper
When vagabonds are passing by
I tend to keep myself away from their goodbyes

Tide will rise and fall along the bay
and I'm not going anywhere
I'm not going anywhere
People come and go and walk away
but I'm not going anywhere
I'm not going anywhere

This is why I always whisper
I'm a river with a spell
I like to hear but not to listen,
I like to say but not to tell

This is why I always wonder
There's nothing new under the sun
I won't go anywhere so give my love to everyone

Tide will rise and fall along the bay
and I'm not going anywhere
I'm not going anywhere
People come and go and walk away
but I'm not going anywhere
I'm not going anywhere

Saturday, June 11, 2005

roamed chinatown with weili today, legs were Dying aft 8 hours of clomping ard in shitty heels again. but. work was surprisingly light for a saturday! anw. chinatown is damn pretty! club street/far east sq, etc at least. if only it wasnt Humid. aft much walking ard, and stopping off at sm places to eat (/rest my poor aching legs;), we finally settled down at Mr Teh Tarik. again, i had to zoom off to find the loo.. i am so glad i did just tt!

cos i was ambushed by russell outside the toilet! i could have sat outside the toilets the whole night getting high fm the energy he was exuding. (compounded with the kick fm the teh halia, tt makes me indian.) he's got to be one of the most Alive! people ard. we had an alive! conversation tt didnt have as much (intellectual, haha) content as it had hi-fives, but still, it made me feel very Alive!, a drastic change fm the general drowsiness tt i've been afflicted with these few weeks. woosh! great tt he's going to nus law. ;).

thx, sya!!

alright - supergrass

We are young, we run green,
Keep our teeth, nice and clean,
See our friends, see the sights, feel alright,
We wake up, we go out, smoke a fag,
Put it out, see our friends,
See the sights, feel alright,

Are we like you?
I can't be sure,
Of the scene, as she turns,
We are strange in our worlds,

But we are young, we get by,
Can't go mad, ain't got time,
Sleep around, if we like,
But we're alright,
Got some cash, bought some wheels,
Took it out, 'cross the fields,
Lost control, hit a wall,
But we're alright,

Are we like you,
I can't be sure,
Of the scene, as she turns,
We are strange in our worlds,

But we are young, we run green,
Keep our teeth, nice and clean,
See our friends, see the sights, feel alright,

Are we like you,
I can't be sure,
Of the scene, as she turns,
We are strange in our world,

But we are young, we run green,
Keep our teeth, nice and clean,
See our friends, see the sights, feel alright!

haha! russell was just emphasizing the imptance of oral hygiene:)

Friday, June 10, 2005

what is the song in the coke commercial on tv!? it's driving me nuts; i cant find it anywhere. :(.

woosh. had a lovely time relaxing in Sea-Ray, mahmut's boat, for 4 hrs today.. the skies were overcast initially, but thankfully the sun didnt let us down. finished almost an entire book, 'a personal matter', another story by oe. i swear i have read this book before, but i just cldnt rmb the details even on browsing thru it. it was very dejavu? reading it (again?) though. sort of like physics notes tt feel so foreign even though i have had to pore over them dozens of times. feeling q an idiot now for never completely understanding the intricacies of photons and waves and magnetism and.. and.. i dun rmb the other topics anyway. the fact tt i am an econs know-nothing-at-all makes me feel even more inadequate (/airheaded.)

but water time was unconstructive today:( it's like a mental bloc perhaps: i simply cldnt cross the wake. it felt particularly terrible because i could do it perfectly well the last time. mahmut was patient, as always, but I was impatient with myself:p disappting! will do better next time. guess i was hesitant cos i didnt want to fall on hard water again. wuss;) at least i dun ache at all today! maybe i just dun ache cos i stayed up so little>.<

haha. enough gripes. i had fun. love the girls:) i want to own a boat, and dock it in front of my house, which will be at sentosa, or marina bay. dreams dreams. doctors dun earn enough.

chocolate and peanut butter waffles tt leak all over the place. grabbed one of tt as i rushed fm ulu sengkang to tut. smbody's bday is approaching!;) i hope u are well.

BOO and BISHma. interesting surnames eh. heh this is out of point here too. then again, there is no point, is there.

talking about points.. how does punctuation work around brackets!? eg: "He is such a naughty boy. (like his older brother)" or is it "He is such a naughty boy (like his older brother)."? or is it sm other structure?

oh!oh! today is a Big Day for ge. i hope all goes well. i can almost hear the chimes/bells. :).

saus! wb-ing.

saus! wb-ing.

tt's saus riding the board! haha. michelle (the angmoh who Burns;) and me on the platform tt floods most refreshingly everytime mahmut slows down. em and sunny on board! all the girls linked to.. rgs. tt feels like an eternity ago. anw, Must bring camera (that can zoom!) next time! too many photographic moments missed. (we saw 2 dogs island hopping this time!!)

Thursday, June 09, 2005

'my toes are screaming. can u hear them?'
-the hung. after 8 hours of waitressing/waiting.

the hilton breakfast looks Really yummy. funny how i didnt feel hungry at all though. that smell's pervasive. it's a universal hotel-dirty-plates smell i think. eeks. it's great to have hyan with me.

anw!! i met kemo/chemo/keano/kino today! tt lil guy in the tunnel at bvista. he was playing 'dun know much abt history' (!!!) when i walked into the underpass linking lido and borders. (thank gdness for the rain; i havent ventured under for a really long time-claustrophobia) he stopped singing to say hello! how have u been! :):) he apparently remembers me fm rj days. 'how cool is that.' chatted for a bit, then i went on my way to satiate my hunger. decided tt he must be hungry/thirsty as well, so i got him a chocolate-filled, chocolate-covered cone-shaped bread tt mo loves. (or loved. seeing how health-y he is these days. mo in sunny florida.. kid tng na.) i hope it was yummy.

what could make my day more exciting than meeting mag/teohpeiying!(she says i Still Walk the Same; i say she Still Talks the same!:)/sadaf. and then lulu for 'dinner'. older brothers, younger sisters.. i think younger sisters are so blessed.

ouch. but wb beckons! pray, let it be Sunny tmr!

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

:D tennis
:D!! tennis towards the end when lenny got me even more psyched up. whacked 600 balls today! (is tt a lot?)
:/ swimming: the water was too cold
:) job hunting in raffles city. jess fm the soup place and cecilia fm subway are such Lovely pple.
:) reading 'the zahir' in borders. got a seat as usual:)
:) meeting hung for a salt-infused subway sandwich
:) hilton. may hung have a gd time tmr!
:) back to my book
:) meeting pat and doreen!
:/Zzz..making my way to yck for driving
:( knocking down the first pole
:'( knocking down the 2nd pole
>.< knocking down More poles
>.<'' rolling backwards on the uphill Again
B( almost smashing into the butt of a taxi tt stopped (q) suddenly
-_- finally alighting fm the car (unscratched)
:/ all the tired fatsos shoving me ard by the tennis racquet. hello. it's trying to be as unobtrusive as possible.
-_- hustling surveyors outside causeway pt are really damn psyched up
:) to the nice surveyor who put up with my murderous glare yesterday
:0 Boom. pre-dinner bread, dinner, and post-dinner bread. and.. peranakan pineapple tarts! haha.
;) embarking on the race to learn french. eat My dust, justin.

yes. i went thru an entire cycle today. i can just see weili mouthing 'hormonal girl'. well, piss off;) it's just Driving tt's my bane lar.

thoughts abt hps. i've caught myself wanting to throw mine away on a few occasions. wldnt it be great to be relieved of tiresome calls and msges. and as much as i love sm pple, i want to be Alone smtimes. but smhow the phone just prevents tt, cos everyone's just so accessible, u just cant really be Alone, get what i mean? rraa. doesnt matter. antisocial pple arent usu understood;) anw, just as well tt phone batts are totally unreliable. then again, i get so frust when the phone dies most untimely-ly.

peanut-stuck-in-chest story sure left ge tickled. the wonders of a depressed, intellectual cousin. my fingers are crossed.

red rock!!! can be found in spore!!!! UGLY! beat that! in millenia!! ahh!! laulau just called to share the find. oz heaven. i hope they have the purple one:) yay. i know what to get papa for fathers' day now!:)

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Majorly PSYCHED UP! the 'a' div finals of the women's world flrball champs was so exciting. (the 'b' div finals certainly fades in comparison.) switzerland vs finland! it was really cool to see the swiss and finns all psyched up. esp the swiss: their spirit and national pride is commendable!
(haute?/go swiss!) i was sitting right behind them, got kinda infected by their high spirits. was swayed towards the finns towards the end though, though i've gotta admit tt i was wishing more for extra time/penalties more than siding a particular team:D woosh! anw, the swiss won in the end, deservedly. it's most exciting game to catch as a spectator had got to be flrball!! the Intensity, the speed, the thrills and the spills, just leave u almost oozing adrenaline. (haha, qianli;) OH!

it was very fun talking to sx with eyes staring intently at the match down below. he never fails to crack me up:)

joke of the day: chethan. -he squeezed Orange over his crab khao, after squeezing the lime. he's still adamant tt it was Lemon (Yellow)!

hopefully there will be flrball soon soon! now, tt's one highly enjoyable sport tt's Free. but the most Brilliant thing abt it? the friends tt come down to play. i hope flrball kicks off in nyps soon too, aft tt clinic cheemin and thomas attended!

heehee. 2 more wakeboard sessions (4h!) lined up in the next two weeks, my bank acct is bleeding dry. new job new job! musnt be afraid of getting slapped hard by the water tho. hope we get mahmut again!

Saturday, June 04, 2005

i worry tt i might get paralysed neck up; my jaw and neck are hurting so badly i Have to whine. maybe it's just the monotony at home (alone) tt's getting to me this mid-afternoon. lulu's right, it's wrong to stay in on a glorious saturday. but but i did attempt a labourious jog early this morn only to have my neck kill me as i turned to check out the traffic as i crossed roads: never thot tt woodlands had so many traffic lights before. let's not talk abt my big plans to swim/play badminton. i kinda want to be alone today. but i am fussy: this is too alone for comfort. but heck, the day's 3/4 gone.

but! woosh. wakeboarding has been so damn fun. the first session with saus and imran already got me addicted! session 2: got in and out of the wake:) the next thing to do is Jump! haha. mahmut (the instructor. incidentally, the disturbing turkish book i just read has a minor kter by tt name) rocks. anw, abt the hard slap to my jaw: since i prolly wld have smacked the water Hard sometime soon, i am glad it happened on my Last pull yesterday cos i cldnt think much aft tt. what a wuss. but! it was super shiok to see ivan get up and look so pleased w himself after all tt frust and and a cao4 bin3;) i am sure mag will Fly nxt time!

learning point: there are no crocs/sharks in spore waters. but there are dogs.

this has been one loonng slow week. sch beckons! i wish i cld return to rj instead of starting a new chapter in nus though. my engines have stalled, it's gonna take a lot of cranking up to get me all psyched abt meeting new pple, getting orientated/oriented? to new srdings. ahh campus is so Far fm home.

reading 'nip the buds, shoot the kids' now. its kinda like 'lord of the flies' but less gory and Dark. it's also like this book abt the plague. maybe it's 'The Plague'. haha. yikes. did i really teach english.

sad songs and waltzes.