Friday, April 30, 2004

got a card fm fuzz, xiz, jo, coldflesh and justin. aww so sweet! justin's and kunliat's comments were v funny. justin has this thing for the phrase 'long leg(-ged) hot babe' and coldflesh signed off as the 'mascot escort'. haha. wow. it's been a coupla of days since apr 26, but lil surprises like this still pop out-wow!

alfie let me skip chem prac yest to go down to ccab to watch mag play netball. so nice of him right! sadly rj lost to hwachong. we started the game pretty badly: gan chiong lar. then we got the hang of things and began to catch up on the score, hc called for timeot, then things had to start again, oh well. mag had better get third come wednesday!

then hung ard by the pitch with jing, munloh, ivan and jieming watching the jjc vs sajc girls game aft catching bits of the ac vs sa guys' game [3-1 to ac]. hmm. jj and sa are v slow! no 12 of jjc and 11 of sajc were the butt of our jokes tt day. sorry girls. i am confident tt we will win both these teams, but ok, i better not get cocky here. still, it was v frustrating/boring watching these two teams play. it was as if they were dreading the play and didnt give a damn abt where the ball went. maybe they got psyched aft we left to have icecream at island creamery, serene centre.

erm abt island creamery, forget abt going to tt ulu place.. the papers hyped it up too much. i had horlicks and peanut icecream. nothing too fantastic though i must say tt the flavours are q cute. terence's 'burnt caramel' icecream was q q good though: really burnt! could taste the burnt bits:p was a weird bunch bunch of us who walked to the icecream place together: terence, jieming, ivan and i. but ok lar, finally quenched my curiosity abt tt place. took forever to reach home aft tt: waited more than 1/2 hr? for 961. i didnt go back for bio s nor love actually aft all. extremely shagged with a bad headache. [which is still bothering me:s]

went for a jog/swim this morn. died out real quickly. i think everyone at the pool will wake up w a cough and headache tmr. oh dear. i am sorry.

off to robinsons' warehouse sale. it's gonna be damn packed!!:(

i wanna learn more abt the origins of christianity judaiam and islam. mr paul khoo impressed me lots with his wealth of knowledge and ability to assimilate all tt he has read and effectively engage us when he was sharing the simpler ideas. i need to think more and stop relying on "it all depends.." as an answer to all deeper questions. wow! q excited abt finding out more. haha.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

wow. i had a lovely day yesterday. it was shengxiang's, nic and nad's, and sir's father's bday too.

impossible not to have been in a brilliant mood.. with reminders from friends, every other minute thruout the day, to be happy simply because i was born on tt day 18 yrs ago. my day started (literally) right with mo calling at 12mn. of course he had to wake me up and bear with the incoherent mumbling. kept waking up thru the night, but still felt pretty refreshed in the morn. then had mr lim call me on my way to sch. fauziah called too! woah! lotsa well wishes and lil presents popped up everywhere, v v sweet. v touched by the blueberry cupcakes mjing baked! and the the sins choc fm sunny and kai, and another BFS cd (arrgh yes, another replica!!) amongst others. thank u all!:) I FEEL LOVED! even by those i thought didnt really give much of a damn:p (it really made my day when i got a totally unexpected card!) wow.

yeah told mo tt i thought yesterday would be just like any other day.. it being my bday wont have much impact save maybe a few bday songs and hugs and presents. but woah i was wrong! its nice to have pple remember ur bday and think a lil more abt u tt day, and make u think a lil more abt them when they send a sweet bday msg. the j one hockey boys were v cute (of course tt includes the 2nd cutest j one, desmondo!;) to msg aft trng. and ronald actually gave me a huge choc bar this morn. yeah everyone seemed to make yesterday seem tt much more special to me. thank u. love all u guys. lots.

rambling. sorry. still a lil high despite the lethargy:)
trng was kinda shit though. had a slight fever and the congested lungs only made me more grouchy. match against PJC tmr. hoho. will be meeting tab and huiying on the pitch! we will play hard, raffles!

anw. abt today. it was damn draggy!! last week, i thought tt dr chan's sense of humour was growing on me; i actually enjoyed his jokes. today's were just cheap and lousy. and the double lect was such a killer. i apparantly really dun go to sch for lessons. skipped pe (sick lar), went down to middle road to collect my jlpt cert at last, and conveniently went shopping at bugis. guess what. i bought a skirt. then went down to novena sq and bought a lovely lovely cake from cedele!! woo. shiok. no cream. solid stuff. woah. haha. it's mom's bday tmr.

yeah. must sleep early. get well by tmr. i must play well. woo.
kinda sad tt netball lost to ac. they must must win the hwachong game! dun wanna see a sad mag. [ivan is how cute. and sweet. he msged me at midnight!

Saturday, April 24, 2004

played hockey w rudy [and nikhil and ywee ern] on friday. rudy's v cute when he's concentrating. first time i heard him curse [many times] every time the ball got past him. nikhil practised his power sweep. and guess what. he scored a shot corner on saturday!! the guys played damn beautifully on saturday. (ru-ik) scored one goal in a scramble in -the first minute-!! then ashraf finished off with a slow and easy push in the the quarter. well done!! so proud of them. 3-0 to acjc. hmm.

went for the PAYM tes session yesterday aftnn. it was draggy no doubt and my body language showed it all. (oops)

Thursday, April 22, 2004

feeling absolutely shit. was feeling absolutely shit during trng. bet everyone else was damn pissed off with my bad playing too. carol was nice to just tell me tt my reaction was a lil slow today. poor carol! i hope she is ok. feli's stick swung into her face just, and blood streamed. blood dripping off her chin and her elbows onto the pitch and the stairs and the path we took to the toilet was a sight. it's just a small cut but guess it's pretty deep. sir sent her to the hosp.

had the intention of blogging all my :) feelings on wed. so i shall get on w tt. we won our first matches. guys beat sajc 1-0. we girls beat tpjc 3-0. we had 22 shots on goal [cant remember if tt was for the whole game or just 2nd half] but only 3 converted.. hmm will hafta score more efficiently! i actually had abt 6 shots on goal;p woo! damn happy. think i played pretty decently. but of course i better keep improving. hope sir disregards today's shit attitude and puts me on pitch next wed!

highlight of today: it's already sweet having a stranger smile at u. today i had a stranger smile and sing for me. he sang abt me. it's the guy in the buanovista tunnel.. was walking past him and this other guy aft my dental, heading back to sch, and i just smiled cos i thot he needed at least immaterial support. [how can he make ends meet just busking?! esp in spore] and he sang along the lines of "see tt girl smiling so sweet/ in her green skirt and white blouse/ walking past.." wow. i smiled all the way back to sch. i wish someone wld sing for me whenever.

helped ms j tan count rounds for 2.4. i havent done mine yet. hmm. i felt v at home watching all the physical activities going on round me. maybe i will try relief teaching as a pe teacher nxt yr.

so much work to do, i havent found the oomph to try register info in my head. it's a really lousy excuse to say tt im tired and cant think. i swear i will catch up by june hols. i better. no disgraceful E no more;p

happy bday xizhen and alfie. i cant imagine how my bday will be spent. i have lotsa bday wishes to make though. i hope they wont just remain far fetched wishes. i will make them happen.

off to bed. looking forward to dance night. yay maybe i will finally find time to catch up with mag. before ivan joins us. love her!

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

shagged. sucks to come home to laundry. feeling damn ashamed for whining. when i only do it when i get home before dad does, and i dun even load the washing machine or hang the clothes up to dry cos im usu asleep by the time the machine's done. cant decide if im happier alone at home now or having dinner out with dad and bro. too tired to be happy.

seasons start tmr. it's the one thing tt pushing me to go to sch. woo. psyched. i dunno what the month ahead will hold. i hope more smiles and cheer than frust/tears. WHAT IF. choy! ..haha had theory today. sir prepped us for all the possible :( things tt might happen. i believe we are strong enough to survive all tt!

ahh. rjc vs tpjc for girls tmr. rjc vs sa for guys [i think.] ahh.

today: went genting lane to record episode 3 of i-contact. vivian balakrishnan. he looked like he was all set to sing to us actually.) in all honesty, on being asked why he changed 'sides', he actually said tt there simply arent enough (talented and concerned) pple in spore. well done! if there is one man tt wld persuade the apathetic youth *(though he insists tt the youth in spore are actually not apathetic) to join politics, it wld have to be dr bala.

nikhil's been v nice. seeing more of one side of him: actually msged me, when i was walking to station aft carol left to meet her dad, to ask why i was alone. and it was hilarious sitting w 3b during bio. yinting [or smth like tt] is fm hongkong, and she didnt know what chengtng was! nikhil called to wake us up when we took turns to fall asleep down the row. got to talk to reginald, the lovely voice behind 'cant help falling in love' during guitar concert. feelign more comfy with siva as well.. went home w him aft pitch on monday, and though we didnt have much to say to each other, the silence was comfy. or maybe he was too sick and i was too tired to care.

time to do biotech. hmm. it's just so weird.

BFS. my soul music for now. ge says tt all their songs sound the same. ok maybe. but still nice!

Sunday, April 18, 2004

hmm. sch's been a whirl.
enjoyed guitar concert. reached damn early. ended up sitting down w the hockey guys [the other two hockey girls had agenda;p]. it was fun having chethan entertain me.

and woah. i didnt expect someone to be there too.

anw. i enjoyed sm canon in d piece and the carpenter's song as well as 25 min. ashraf's performance was kinda disappting though-bckgrd music drowned out his amazing playing. but yes, ashraf has style man. his performance was a riot, with clara and his other classmate hyping it up before he even started. sat w ivan for a lil while too. had a lot of laughs when i was immensely grossed out by the way the guitar girls sat. (cross ur legs lar!) v glad to hear him laugh too. i hope he finds strength to move on. well at least he has hockey to concentrate on for now! woo.

trng has been HOT. playing so lethargically i think only a v hard mel's power hit will get me moving fast enough. my stamina sucks. been trying hard to run and swim like before but woah shit im too fat. been binging worse than ever w all tt stress building up cos of mom. time to get worried abt my own (mental) health.

!!!!: i made it to team. :). luyi has been v encouraging. love her! carol too no doubt. she was so cute, rushing up to me once sir was done announcing to say sorry for having kept me in the dark though i made her promise to tell me once she knew. but i understand the dilemma of the capts. :) thx carol! and of course lulu kailun wenjian for tt unwavering faith. and of course of course, thx sir;) and mr lim

pearl has been a pillar of strength to me. i wish i could do more for her. just hoping tt she'll be strong and play on! nxt yr'll come faster than she expects it. and i'm sure she'll be in tip top condition.

seasons start on wednesday. i am damn excited. getting fluttery stomach just thinking abt it. i WANT to score. my god. tt will be the happiest day of my life. been terribly unaccomplished in hockey. [as in track and x-country as well. hmm. :( so loserly] ahh. damn exciting!! i cant wait to see what this season reaps for the team. physically, mentally, emotionally, and materially. siva wrote a v meaningful letter on the board. i agree wholeheartedly with what he says. and and am amazed w the similarity in what he and kailun says, and how they say it. maybe tt is what is called capt material. tt is also what every hockey player feels.

here's to a season of hope. and glory.

Saturday, April 10, 2004

it’s back to the shit situation again. the human mind is way too complicated.

been kinda flat the past two days though i must say tt i enjoyed the girls' day out with my classmates. turnout was pretty pretty good. v few of us met up in the morn. and while sang and bean and.. qiqiong! went shopping, christine and i rotted for a while, having one of the best cheesecakes ive had in a long time, in philly's flavours. must try the tall choc/cheesecake next time. then went brekz. damn glad i didnt have the buffet. not too appealing. figured tt breEks in taka is a different makan place altogether.

then met up with cousin chunying. my god. she is funky. harry is the name of her guy who chauffeurs her in his jaguar. he said tt bf and chauffeur comes in a package for her. sweet. and of course, he is full of $. no idea how he's like, save the brief description contributed by chunying, which really wasnt much. but i must say i like his voice. at least he sounds v nice over the phone. oh btw, never go to cedele depot at suntec. service sucks!

trng today was fun! in the blistering sun. i peng-sanned. v amazed with the team. how did they manage all the runs?! i did it too, but barely of course. ahh im extremely unfit. sir is still me keeping in suspense. heh lulu just called to ask how things were: reminded me. hmm. i am still praying hard.

happy easter. i wish tmr will be a good one. esp for dad! love him lots. but i just cant say this to him. it's not my family to say this kinda stuff. he's having the roughest time amongst us. be strong pa!

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

had a pretty decent time at hockey though i must say tt i played terribly. again. and wth. i cant believe tt one of my teammates actually told me tt she's finally beginning to like hockey. i guess it is to be expected tt not everyone loves what he's doing.. but still, cant help but have this 'huh?' feeling when i heard it. but i love her for being my teammate:) it is kinda hard to be in a team not liking hockey or ur teammates, so i really dunno how she's survived for so long.

had a nice walk to the station with ywee ern (did u know tt he was a rugger?!), ilia and rudy. (yes rudy my hot goalie. he is damn cute! he says tt girls want to be his mom more than they want to be his gf. ywee ern and i fervently disagreed. ;P)

and u know what. i got a E for math. my god. sorry mr ho. i'll work harder. it's the lowest grade in class. by two grades. woah. i wnder wth happened during the paper. cos i redid it on monday aft i got the horrendous marks back, and it was do-able. save the p and c qn of course. oh well. did ok for phys (!!) and chem and gp. so ok lar.

ahh. must be more down to earth.

Sunday, April 04, 2004

kailun moved me to tears at 2am. dunno why i got up then, but i did when the phone began to vibrate silently. his concern for me was so sincere, it was v touching. cant help but feel tt ive let him down. i bet he never thought tt i wld be struggling to play for nats this yr, especially not when i already got to play last yr, and pple (prolly the guys, v nice of them) have been telling him at the start of this yr tt i was improving.

his primary concern, like sir's, was my rib. i kinda regret ever making it known in the first place. heh. but of course i do understand tt its my responsibility, to The Future Me (and to everyone else?) to keep my health in check, and to explain my absence fm the most exciting 2 days of hockey trng (camp-when do u ever get to play 3 test matches in 2 days?!) now tt ive reassured him tt im fit enough, he told me to prove myself, "prove [him] right, and sir wrong;)" v heartening to have him say "i believe in you" maybe because i was beginning to doubt myself.. does sir really think tt i am tt lousy? is stressing on my bad rib his kind way of giving me an excuse to allow myself to find it easy to explain my bad performance? i personally know tt my skills arent fantastic, but surely i am not 21/24 right?!! kinda indignant abt tt. i told kailun tt i want only for sir to put together the best possible hockey team. i believe in tt. sir put up a long article on the hockey board but at this pt in time, one paragraph jumps out at me. the bit abt knowing what it means to be in a hockey team: one impt thing is to trust the coach to put down on the pitch who he thinks will benefit the team most. i trust sir. a lot. i wish he wld trust me as well. i want him to know what im talking abt, but its just so hard to phrase it. was mute when he asked if i had anyth to say on friday. but maybe he does understand me already. anw i really dun think tt ive deteriorated fm last yr-hey at least my stick-ball coord's slightly better now:p- unless the j1s are really tt great this yr (i know they are fabulous).. this ok lar, i'll cheer them one w all sincerity knowing tt the team will do RAFFLES HOCKEY proud.

many forces are driving me to do smth for nats this yr. i want to bring back the colours to the sch w our heads held high, sharing w everyone else the success of our team. i think our hockey team (guys and girls) are v well the most close-knit teams in sch. sir's emphasis on bridging the gap betwn the two teams has certainly paid off. i feel so much for the team. our guys rock. (shengrong wrote in his blog 'our girls rocksies':) i want to do smth with my life in rj. am feeling terribly unaccomplished. i wanna walk away knowing tt i have contributed to the team, to the sch, and tt i have grown up thru the season.

yes, most imptly, i want to do smth for the team/coach tt has taught me so much. i have grown a lot in sm aspects, all thanks to hockey. be it the trng, tactical sessions, the interactions with my teammates. all these will carry across all areas of my life in the future i am sure of it. i used to run in a straight line, or maybe a circle, with at most 3 other teammates. now i have learnt, and am definitely still learning, how to cope with a stick in hand, ball rolling ard, other pple ard me, etc. Game Intelligence is one thing i have honed. tt's why pe classes are so damn fun when i'm on a roll chionging ard. the team has given me a lot spiritually. friends, a great variety of them, all of whom are so sincere. i thank the girls for all their love and support all this while, carol and veldie, particularly, thru these two months when things were pretty shit. i am proud to have my team comprise of the 'coolest mamas and chioest girls'. haha. seriously, raffles hockey players are a great bunch of sports enthusiasts who have great motivation to strive to bring out the best in themselves and as a team as well. the sessions when we sat down to discuss our 'pledge' and other motivations, were v touching. i dunno if other sports teams do tt. i think they shld. because tt's when u realise how much u want to win, not just for urself, but for ur team, for ur sch. and u also realise tt winning is not everyth but being able to win only confirms our belief in ourselves.

right now, my primary concern is to improve myself, and not stupidly cok up on the pitch. [match against crescent tmr.] i want sir to know tt i am not-bad. but yes, will just hafta see how it goes lar. i'll continue enjoying trng meanwhile:) and hope for a lovely lovely outcome. otherwise, there isnt anyth tt i can do anw eh. yosh. will play hard. will pray hard.

i love my team. "we rock."

Saturday, April 03, 2004

been a long time since we had such interesting food. asian food was becoming a lil boring. ge brought us to soul kitchen in purvis street. it’s a lovely little place, looking quite atas, quiet, having a full seating capacity of only 20. it's a lovely place for a guy to bring his girl on their first date;) easily accessible in town, yet away fm the hustle, bustle and the huge overwhelming crowds. nice simple ambience w the friendly owner and fierce-looking -but woah so you3 xing2- talk eurasian chef with tt earring taking care of u. and of course, the food is pretty pretty good.

this place serves fusion food, western and local fare. had the local today. each bite was an exciting burst of flavour!

i had
for starters:
1) chicken liver salad/red wine. -brilliant appetiser! ive always loved innards:p and the liver was really soft today. prolly cos of the olive oil. yes its oil but heck tt for once! finally innards tt are good tasting enough for mom and dad to consider cooking liver at home despite the unhealthnes of it all.

main course:
(the belacan came in a really tiny serving, mom was commenting abt the stinginess of the owner. but it turned out tt we didnt touch much of it though we are q big eaters of chilli. the food comes terribly [wonderfully] spicy enough.)
2) buah keluak. -never liked this stuff much but must say tt today's was fragrant. what's good abt it is tt it comes in a heap, all taken out of the buah, so its a lot easier to eat.
3) devil('s curry). -finally got to try this dish tt was described in the primary 5 social studies textbook! v powerfully hot.
4) long beans w minced pork. -nice with a hint of coconut milk.
5) sambal eggplant. -guess what. the sambal beats mom's!
6) green chilli fish fillet. -this thick slab of fish. i insist tt they sneaked in gula melaka in the sauce. refreshingly sweet aft all tt spice.
[yes it was v hot. v hot. my face tingled and there was this buzzing sensation, as if i just ran a lot at a v v fast pace. it was painful in a sense, but a v shiok sensation. ge said i was so hot y skin felt as if i was feverish. i have already been flushed the past week with tt rash, but i was absolutely pink in the face. heh.]

7) warm choc cake. -it oozed chocolate! and had tt cute lil ball of icecream on top. but for $10, tt lil piece of cake is really not worth it lar. i think marmalade pantry's choc cupcake is more satisfying.
8) gula melaka sago. -it tasted salty. maybe the coconut went bad.
i must try the sugi cake next time!

v happy:)

its been a good day.
met sunny first thing in the morn at ghim before 730.
had lotsa fun trng with the j1s today. felt like i belonged. did a lot of basics, which i no doubt benefited fm. sir's games are always so exciting.
(i love sir! yes, sir the snorting-horse and the hooting-monkey. cant see why not everybody thinks tt he's absolutely fantastic.)
(pau cried during lunch though. i hope she feels good again soon. poor kid!)
(lots more thoughts on hockey. but will save tt for later.)

had a pretty serious talk with pearlyn during lunch. she is one junior i musnt leave behind when i leave sch. i am v glad tt she opens up to me and explains how and why she feels strongly abt certain things. it's v interesting to try see things fm her perspective.

went down to town w the intention of studying. (oops.) sat in pac coffee co for a few hours. impulsively bought mark haddon's latest book "the curious incident of the dog in the night-time".

then walked ard a bit. waited for mom and dad for a long time at novena sq. stood listening to this slightly-past-middle-age(?) indian man strumming christian songs on a guitar. therapeutic. v cute how he hiccups 'thank you's, 'hallelujah's etc when pple drop money into his box.

then it was dinner. came home, got ambushed by shawn. he's damn cute! he actually allowed dad to bring him to our house w/o putting up an struggle.

hmm. nice warm fuzzy feeling.